There is a time to grieve and to face the pain we feel in life. It is not a sin to feel sad. There is no shame in being broken. We do not want to remain in this state though. We do not serve ourselves, others, or God by remaining in sorrow to the point of self pity. There are terrible things that happen to us in life. There are moments where life knocks us back on our heels and we are left reeling just trying to figure out what hit us. There are awful things that happen to us and leave us in real pain. These things matter and I’m not trying to diminish the pain you feel. I am saying that you do not have to let these moments be your identity. How you rise above the struggles that strike you can be what defines you. Do not let self pity consume you and define your personality.
No matter how worthy your pain is of feeling sorry for yourself, you do not help yourself by feeling sorry for yourself. It does not make your situation better and it does not make your life worth living. It can be very intoxicating to remain in self pity. You may even get the sympathy of others which makes you feel good for a time. You are wasting your time though.
Feeling sorry for yourself steals your joy and makes you feel helpless. You are stuck in a situation where life happens to you instead of you taking charge of your own destiny. That is no way to live. You will not end up with the life you are meant to have. You will not make progress toward your goals or purpose in life.
You don’t have to live that way. You can put self-pity aside and choose self actualization instead. Take control of your own life and rise above the things that have happened to you. Learn from your failures and use them to build a new life. Pain is a form of stretching you to be better. There is pain in exercising, however your body gets stronger as a result of it. Use the pain to get stronger. Put behind you the people that seek to hurt you and take back the power for your own life instead of giving it to others that wish you harm. It is your life and you should take the power for the direction that it goes.