In 1992, my mother had a stroke because of a brain aneurysm. Initially, when she became ill, I asked a lot of the usual "why" questions. I asked them, because I didn't have a clue why this happened to my mother. After all, she was a God-fearing, Christian woman who did nothing but good for other people. I would ask these questions over and over again, without ever receiving an answer that would comfort me emotionally. I call these types of questions "endless loop questions". The reason I call them that, is because no matter how many times you ask them, the answer never comforts you. You know the type of questions I mean, because you might have asked yourself these questions many times in the past: "Why can't I get ahead?" or "Why does this keep happening to me"?
One night changed all of that for me. I went to my mom's hospital room and nervously sat beside her bed. She was in and out of consciousness because of the sedation medication that she was given. Despite her sedated state, she looked and smiled as she noticed it was me. She asked me, "What's troubling you"? I went into my tirade about how I could not understand why this had to happen to her. She stopped and whispered these words that changed my life: "Adversity happens in life to make us stronger. Don't ask why any more."
In my first book, I wrote:
I finally came to the realization that adversity and failures occurred because that was the way God designed it. There is no coincidence. Whether we believe it or not, God is using our current situation or circumstance to help us fulfill our destiny. He wants us to be successful in life, and He uses our adversity to become successful people. God uses it for two reasons. The first is to let us know how much we need Him. Though He wants us to be successful, He does not want us to be a success apart from Him. The second reason is tha He uses our adversity to build our character. Once we become the success that He wills for all of our lives, He wants us to have a character that is like Him.
Everything you have gone through will make you stronger for this journey. All of it is necessary.